The Subconscious

Is there a way to tell your subconscious that you really want to stop dreaming about something? Really! I have made decisions in my life and as far as I knew I was happy with them. But then the dreams start and they continue to pop up when I lease expect it and they bring back all the uncertainty and what ifs and could it have gone differently? Seriously there is nothing I can do to change things so why does my brain decide to rehash things while I sleep. Oh and the best part is, they are super vivid dreams that I can remember every detail including colours and smells. I wake up saying "wow, but that never happened".

I thought your dreams were suppose to help you, or tell you what is happening in the back of your mind. But rehashing events from months or years ago don't make sense. And making up what could have happened is even more unhelpful. Also does it need to make all the possible outcomes happy ones?

I am happy, well mostly. I am falling in love with Winnipeg (crazy I know but seriously this city is AMAZING), I am content with the job I have. Hell I know a large group of people who would kill to have my job, and would love it if I left it. That is not going to happen anytime soon. The lovely student loans that need to be paid off and the fact that I like being in control of my life and not having to scramble for rent each month is what is keeping me happily employed. That and my job is awesome! Who else gets to physically handle 300 year old books and documents, let alone fix or rebind them?

There are things I am not content with, I will admit that. I am tired of traveling alone for one thing, (I want a partner in crime who I can travel with and do the everyday things with), and I am far away from the people who would make me soup if I was sick (was recently sick and had to make my own soup, it was sad). But for the most part I am a happy person.

So in short, I do believe my Imagination has run away with itself and gone on some sort of bender without me. How inconsiderate of my imagination!